Life Example

Listen to Each Other Vent – Alisha’s Story

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Listening to each other vent about life’s frustrations can be incredibly important.  It can be easy to want to shut down communication with your spouse because you’re not willing to let them get things off their chest.  It may have to do with work issues or just little irritations of life.

The best way to support your spouse is to not shut this down or try to fix all their problems.  Just let them vent by listening to them.  Such a little thing can really help the marriage. Today’s inspiring story comes from Alisha at https://lemoninajar.wordpress.com/.

From Alisha about how she and her husband listen to each other vent:

Greg and I clicked from the start. The first day we met, we couldn’t stop talking! Well, except when Greg had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom. So I sit there, waiting, and waiting, and waiting…. Something like 15 or 20 minutes later he finally returns with a shamed look on his face. Unspoken, we decided we were comfortable enough with each other to talk about poop. Greg came right out, saying he had some stomach issues, but I pointed out we all have to poop. Then we kept talking.

Ever since that first day, we still have not been able to stop talking. We are always completely honest and open, about all great things in life. We are each other’s confidants, knowing secrets that aren’t shared with any other soul. There is never any wondering what the other is thinking or feeling, and never any misunderstanding. We couldn’t even have a proper engagement because we wanted to share the experience and he couldn’t surprise me! We just decided one day to go and pick out the ring together, and that was it. Simple.

Communication makes our relationship simple. We already struggle with hard realities of life; we don’t need our relationship to be complicated too. That doesn’t mean our marriage is perfect.

The hardest time in our relationship has been most recently with my pregnancy mostly because we have been struggling financially. We have been living paycheck to paycheck, and I haven’t been able to help much from my pregnancy making it difficult for me to work. For about half of it, I have been unemployed and he has been taking on the financial responsibility. The stress that has been put on his shoulders has made us both depressed. We went through a period of a few months where we both knew it would be so much easier if we weren’t together, or if we weren’t having this baby. If we were single, a full time job would cover everything each of us needed. He could move back in with his parents to get back on his feet. I could…. Well… I could live alone? Travel? I might have more money, but I would be lonely. I wouldn’t be having my first baby or married to my best friend. We openly discussed this. We talked about what it would be like to separate and envisioned our lives apart. We would have more money, but our relationship is worth so much more than making life easier.

Because of our nonstop talking and communication, we got through that depression. We are still struggling with finances, but our marriage is thriving and we are ready for our baby to come and add more love into the mix.

I believe the thing that ends marriages is this lack of communication. Even though it sounds so boring and cliché, it is vital to function. If you can’t be a hundred percent transparent with your significant other, then you shouldn’t get married. We are all human and we grow and change, we stress, we gain interests and lose interests, we are all imperfect. I do not expect Greg to be perfect; I know he’s not. Our marriage isn’t perfect. I want to know his stuff so I can be either be aware of his struggle, or help him through it if he needs me to. If I think my coworker is attractive, I will tell Greg, and then we can talk together about all the people we think are attractive. Instead of keeping it inside and letting it grow, I let it out, we joke, we flirt, and we end up having a pretty fun night in bed and I’m not even in the slightest way concerned about the coworker anymore. We know we are humans not only in love with each other, but best friends that can and will stay up all night talking to each other. It keeps our marriage alive.

Please visit https://lemoninajar.wordpress.com/ to hear more about her life and thoughts.

 

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